Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
did i walk over a car last night?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Randomize
