This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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