...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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