after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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