next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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