Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
