By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
