why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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