Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
