I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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