No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
They are going to name an STD after you.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
