What a fucking waste of an outfit
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
