Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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