i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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