what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
3pm strippers are depressing
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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