Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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