i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
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after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
They are going to name an STD after you.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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