I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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