i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
