Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You've changed since you got that strap on
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
