Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
