Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
