with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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