now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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