i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
