i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
