her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
