i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
