dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
