His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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