Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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