College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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