She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
operation have a gay friend backfired
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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