I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
