i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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