I hate your face
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
