There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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