It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
