i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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