I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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