they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
