all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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