you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
