Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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