Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
