Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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