And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
