Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
