sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
