Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
