It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
