have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
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You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
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I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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