I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
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