dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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