chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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