New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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