I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize