her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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