Me too!
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
