I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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