White coat. Heels.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
