ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
