you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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