YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
