Where are you?
In a non slutty way
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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