Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
