there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
