No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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