i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
