There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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